A Whole New World

Hi friends, if you are at all squimish , not a fan of hearing about people's medical problems or have a case of the "that's TMI (too much information)", please stop reading. If not, sally forth.

I just got back from the doctor. Recently, I was told that I have a few organs in prolapse. Basically, because of having three children, and some probable weak muscle tissues, my insides are falling out. My uterus and my bladder seem to prove the addage that "gravity works." So, every now and then after some heavy lifting or a sprint up the stairs, I can feel my organs falling. It's kinda feels like when a tampon is falling out. Yep, it's THAT fun.

Well, I experienced even more fun at the doctor today (read with heavy sarcasm). I was fitted for a pessiary. Oh yes, there is a device that now I get to stick up myself on a daily basis to stave off these falling organs. So, now I can run, squat, hike up the stairs and hold Owen for hours without feeling gravity work on my insides.

Overall, this whole thing has really peeved me off. Now, granted, this is quite a small thing compared to those who have life-threatening issues, and I know that this is probably not the worst thing that could happen to me. Yes, I do still count my blessings. But, some of these blessings have each taken something away from me. Josh, my firstborn, took away my ability to eat dairy without a supplement. (who knew? not me...for a couple of years...) Ellie, my daughter, took away something more intangible...my sanity. She was a collicky baby and made having a third quite the discussion. Owen, now my last, has sealed the deal. His birth pushed, what was probably inevitable, my organs to say, "let's not hang out up HERE anymore."

I'm mad because I was really looking forward to life after Owen filled with activity without worry and gettting my body back into shape for the rest of my life (life after having kids).

This is a rant and I'm sorry. But this whole new world was not the one I was expecting. It's not even one that I can share with others ("want to hear about my descending organs? no, this isn't common among 30 somethings...yep, more so with the older ladies"). It's frustrating, because I know that the long term solution is surgery. No fun there. It will most likely be in the summer, because I can't take time off of school. Good news is that I know we are done having kids, so there isn't any sadness there.

So for now, I'm trying to find my happiness in this, focusing on the fact that this is not life-threatening, but more of a quality of life issue. I know that there are others who have dealt with and currently deal with more difficult things on a daily basis. I know the Lord is again showing me how I am not in control, to lean on Him and the friends and family with which he has blessed me. So, please pray for me. That I get over this and maybe even laugh about it. I'm sure I'll have some great stories about how my pessiary went flying across the room (no joke, the doctor left the room to let me try this out, and warned me about their ability to fling themselves through the air), or how my kids found it and asked if we could go play frisbee.

Thanks for reading, and I promise this will be my only rant blog for a long time!